I’m reading John Ortberg’s book – Everybody’s Normal Till You Get to Know Them.
It opens with the words:
In certain stores you will find a section of merchandise available at greatly reduced prices… each tag carries the same words – ‘as is’. This is a euphemistic way of saying “These are damaged goods… you’re going to find a flaw… So when you find it, don’t come whining… [There are] no returns. No refunds. No exchanges… You must take it as is.”
Ortberg then makes the point that the imperfections we have as human beings, put us in the ‘as is’ category.
I hadn’t come across the American expression ‘as is’, but it’s got me thinking.
There are many situations in life where we get more, or less, than we bargained for.
Any relationship will have nice and nasty surprises.
On a superficial level, someone’s irritating little habits can rub us up the wrong way, and on a deeper level, another’s emotional baggage can trip us up.
So I’m finding it helpful to remember that we all have ‘as is’ tags,
and in some relationships it can be worth talking about these together.
Not always easy, as typically we don’t like recognising our imperfections,
let alone them been spotted by others!
The point is though, that we are all flawed, and we all have a choice.
To do nothing, or do something about our flaws.
Which brings me to ‘as if’.
Truth is, I’ve a number of ‘default’ positions that I want to change.
Solution Focused Therapy centres on the question:
‘If you lived your life without ‘the problem’, what would you do differently?’
It’s about living ‘as if’ you didn’t have ‘the problem’.
So I’m beginning to think about the things I would do differently,
and more importantly, starting to put them into practice.
It’s about taking little steps.
Sometimes I stumble, other times I shuffle, and on a good day I step out!
It’s not about ‘can I?’ but ‘will I?’
“To be, or not to be: that is the question…”
Truth is… Watch for the new thing I am going to do. It is happening already—you can see it now! Isaiah 43:19